Just cause...

Oskar dressed up as Ernie once for Halloween.

Music

Hey party people, Oskar and I are starting to compile songs for the playlist. I was hoping you guys could give us some suggestions. I can't promise we can play all of them but we will certainly give them a listen to. Just one rule: make sure they are pg-13. I can't let the DJ play Tenacious D songs that Oskar wanted to include. And sadly, although it was kind of a party anthem when we were in school, I don't think "Ain't no fun" is appropriate either. I don't know, maybe after a couple of drinks and dinner, people won't mind.

Don't worry...

... we won't.

California Wildfires

The latest word from news reports is that officials have ordered a mandatory evacuation of about 5,000 homes in Goleta. The 13 square mile Santa Barbara County fire is 25% contained. If that weren't bad enough, the residents of Big Sur have been under siege for two weeks now. According to CNN more than 100 square miles and 20 homes have been destroyed by the fires. I hope our friends in the counties of Santa Barbara and Monterey are safe and sound and that firefighters get those wildfires under control soon.

The Bachelorette-No Rose Ceremonies

Carla fulfilled her duties as the Maid of Honor by organizing the bachelorette party a couple weeks ago in Vegas. Most of the girls, 95% weren't able to go but no matter, the show went on as planned. Carla and I began the extravaganza with a 5 hour bus ride from Chinatown to Las Vegas. The bus only turned on the AC when we reached Barstow I think. Once there, the driver made an announcement asking for a tip from each passenger. He didn't even help with the bags! I still need to make that complaint to the company by the way. We got to our stop at the Tropicana where Oskarcito picked us up.
Yen and her boyfriend Jamahal, who came to Vegas to hang out with Oskar while us girls went out to get in trouble, had arrived the night before. Yadda, yadda we went out to eat together and then the real fun began.
This is my favorite part of the trip:
After an unsuccessful attempt to make it to Palazzo's on foot in 4 inch heels, the three of us decided to just go to Pure, (that club where Britney "fell asleep" on New Year's Eve) and stood in the ladies-only line. Carla and I were next to each other and Yen was right behind us. A gang of girls, all looking like Tila Tequila, stood behind Yen. Maybe like 10 minutes after we had been waiting some of them started to get a little fussy and impatient and loud, and began leaning on each other cause they were too drunk to stand without support. Two of the leaners leaned on Yen. The second time I guess they pushed her a little too hard and Yen overheard one of them say to the other, "No, we can't do that, we don't know her."
Yen turned around and said matter-of-factly, "Yeah, you don't know me, that's the second time you pushed me."
Okay, bear with me cause I didn't hear this part exactly but this is what I think transpired.
The less drunk girl apologized to Yen, the other girl was like "What the bleep?"
Then the other girls piped in with gems like "Who does she think she is? You don't have to apologize! Bleep bleep bleep!"
So Yen held her own and told them "Look, you pushed into me more than once, etc."
She's a math teacher people ,she handles teenagers everyday, she ain't intimidated by diddle.
After a few more of the same exchange I pulled Yen in front of me and Carla and I became like human barriers just in case anything were to happen. So one of the girls said to Carla "Hey you know our friend is really drunk, I'm sorry we just want to have fun."
Carla said It's cool we want to have fun too."
We were fine except that the other girls kept inciting the other one saying, "You don't have to say sorry to that bleep. She thinks she's all that." On and on and on.
Finally the pushy girl stepped up and said "Hey if she's looking for trouble I am right here! I can take her!"
I turned around, as did Carla and we basically went off on them. Enough is enough. "Shut the bleep up already! You better back the bleep up! No one is starting anything so shut up!"
Carla started yelling "Security!"
I was like "No! We are going to get kicked out too!"
The less drunk girls got riled up too and cried "No! She's drunk! She doesn't know what she's doing!"
Luckily the bouncer let us in and made them wait behind the velvet rope before things escalated.
We had a good laugh, a nice adrenaline rush and made a toast to our inner cholas!
The rest of the night we didn't so much dance as just hang out and meet people. Oh yeah there was a Pussy Cat Doll performance and then just a lot of pictures with a lot of cute strangers.

The next night the girls and I went to Baba ReBa, a tapas restaurant on the north end of the strip. Afterwards we finally made it to Palazzo's where I wore my "I'm tying the knot, so buy me a shot" veil, complete with shot glasses that made me look like an alcoholic Minnie Mouse. It was cute and fun-a conversation piece.
We went to Excalibur and stood in line for the "Thunder from Down Under" review. Carla, what a trooper, had to deal with stupid tickets people.
There was soo many bachelorette parties going on that weekend. Some groups went all out with matching tank tops and accessories.
Anywho, the show was terrific and a lot of fun. My favorite performance was by one of the Aussies who crawled on the tables out in the audience and poured beer on himself. We got really a sweet booth in the back, but none of the dudes came near us when looking for audience members to come on stage. There was a fake orgasm contest and the infamous towel dance that Oskar had warned me about. How he knew about that, I don't want to know.
Following the pectoral blowout, we headed to Cathouse, or actually, one of the promoters convinced us to go. It's a new club styled after a Victorian bordello. After some courtesy shots, we were approached by a blonde Jenna Jameson girl who asked us if we wanted a VIP table with bottle service. We looked at each other and gave the "It's cool with me" shrug, and followed her to one of the tables. It wasn't for us. It had been reserved by some gentlemen who I guess needed some female revelers to even out the male to female ratio. After some awkward introductions and cocktails we danced some more These guys were computer nerds and traded electric commodities okay so it was a pretty tame bachelorette party compared to some of the ones I saw that night.
We finally got home after the sun went up. Oskar woke up to say good morning and went in for a smooch. He fell back in revulsion after taking a whiff of my hair. It smelled like I dumped an ashtray on my head and combed it through my hair.

Of all my times in Vegas, this was my number one, hands down, favorite experience. Like a great movie, there was drama to be had, a little action and a lot of slapstick.

Thank you Carla and Yen for an awesome time!

A little behind

Okay so according to Martha Stewart and the wedding industry I was supposed to book a florist waaay back in November. Hahahaha. Whatever. Oskar and I went to Santa Barbara on Friday morning to scope some out. We left pretty early to catch a morning meeting with Lani from Lani B. Production Services-the crew that's going to handle our lighting at Cabrillo. It was a fairly easy meeting to sit through. I showed Lani, who in true Santa Barbara fashion was wearing a pair of flip flops, pictures of what my color scheme was going to be. He said he thought a nice amber color would suit our party. Apparently, amber and peach are flattering colors. Anything to look good in pictures right?

Later on we skulked around State Street. We had some tea and lunch and then walked around in search of flower shops. We walked into a Riley's on Chapala. The store was cute but the lady behind the counter didn't want anything to do with us. She told Oskar that the "designer" wasn't it and to come back some other time. Oookay.

After that underwhelming encounter Oskar and I decided to get out of downtown and go somewhere closer to upper state street near San Roque. We quickly found a couple including Gigi's and White House Flower Shop.

We walked into Gigi's where Doug the florist called up their wedding coordinator and set up a meeting for us in the evening. That's customer service.

Then we went to White House flowers. A spry golden retriever welcomed us in and licked our hands (I think we smelled like the chicken we had for lunch). Laura, the owner was just as friendly (minus the licking of course) showing us some of her wedding binders and asking us questions. She was very attentive and understood what I wanted for the ceremony bringing out flowers that she thought would look nice like peonies, roses and stargazer lilies. I told her that I also like anemones and poppies and she said she would find out if they were available that late in August. Laura has also done flowers for events at San Roque before! Most important, the price she quoted us was right where I wanted it to be. Yes! Oskar and I left the flower shop really really happy.

Later on in the evening we headed back to Gigi's. The coordinator pulled out her notebook and asked me how many people were in the bridal party, who needed corsages, what my colors were. She was convinced we needed two big altar pieces, and two smaller ones. And earlier in the day, when Oskar and I first walked in, Oskar asked the staff how much boutonnieres cost, "Eight dollars," said one of employees.
"Twenty-five dollars," said the coordinator later on during the meeting. Hmmm...
She gave us a quote that was almost three times what White House gave us. Oskar asked her if there was a range of prices and if so, was the number she gave us at the higher end
"I don't like ranges, I don't want to give them," she said. "I think that with ranges, you pick something that's low and you won't end up liking the end product and I won't end up liking it."
Oskar and I just nodded and thinking the exact same thing: "What the hell is this chick talking about?"

I think businesses just hear the word wedding and they automatically think "cha-ching." Unbelievable. I am still waiting back to hear some quotes. Hopefully they will send them to me this week cause I really don't want to think about flowers anymore. But if all goes well, I think Oskar and I will have simple and elegant arrangements we can be happy with. Of course Oskar would probably be happy with fake aquarium plants.

Don't Give Up On Me!

I swear to God I'll write more often. It's not like I'm busy or anything right? Well actually, last, last weekend was my "staglette" weekend. That's what this Canuck I met at Cathouse in Vegas called it. So crazy, so memorable. Don't fret dear readers (all three of you) I will reveal the good parts next week. I'll tell you everything else that happened off the record.
So invitations were sent out two Thursdays ago and last week. I had to send them out in batches cause it's only me addressing them baby. I hope you guys liked them. It wouldn't have been possible without good ol' Illustrator. Don't forget to send those RSVP's in. Thank you to those who have!
Last weekend Oskar and I headed to Santa Barbara to talk to the lighting guy and florists. Fun times. My mom decided to wear a zinnia in her corsage. Yeah, see, this is why I haven't posted anything cause nothing new has happened.

Oh! That's not completely true. So, a couple weeks ago I started looking at projects to do for the reception. I found this really cute craft thing that I am not going to give away. But my friend Cladia Guzman saw a sample I made and asked me to show her how to do it, which I did. And then suddenly she took over the project which I am not complaining about because hello! She's a total lifesaver. You'll see her handiwork on your reception table. She is my Martita Stewart. ¡Gracias Claudia!
Lastly before this glass of wine finally puts me to sleep (Kenneth Volk, Negrette) I went to my bridal salon to pay the remaining balance of my dress. And I got to try it on again. I wasn't going to because I was all gross from the LA heat and chasing after two year olds, but Roza, the owner, wouldn't hear of it. "Don't you want to see it?" she asked.
"Okay," I mumbled, embarrassed at my un-bridal behavior.
"More pouffy?" asked one of the staff when I put on the petticoat.
"No thank you." I said putting on a sweater feeling a little too cold with just my underwear on. I felt like I was at the doctor's office.
A little while later another girl came with a plastic bag, the contents of which looked like a folded up comforter. "What is that?" I asked.
She took it out without answering and I realized it was my dress.
Giving me a once over as I took off my sweater she asked,
"more pouffy?"
"No, it's okay."
Seriously no more crinoline people!
I swear putting on that dress is a two man operation. She held on to the bodice over her head and said "Come on honey."
I dove in with my arms extended over my head and dug through fabric until I saw the other opening.
"Okay get on the platform," she commanded.
I stood on the wooden mini-stage and took a deep breath in. Unlike the first time I came to the salon and tried on the dress, this time I was all alone. I didn't want anyone else to give their opinion. I wanted to make sure that I had made the right choice.
The girl who helped me put on the dress, was the same one who had helped me try on those five or six the very first time I went there. "Oh my god it fits perfect," she said.
And it did. Okay so there's like four inches of extra bust, but everything else fit like a glove.
"I'll leave you alone so you can enjoy."
And there I was all by myself. I think I even talked to myself at one point. When I turned around to look at my reflection from a different angle, I noticed the door was open. "Whoops!" I thought.
I gotta tell you, I love it. So sparkly when it catches the light. It's the most extravagant outfit I've ever worn. The train is even longer than I remember it. Bridesmaids take note! One of you will have to come with me for my last fitting when they show me how to bustle up the train. That way you will know how to do it for the reception. Bring a notebook or a video camera if you need to.
Anywho, the chick came back in and asked me if everything was okay and if I was going to take it. "For sure," I said.
I wondered how many brides came to the salon and found something wrong with their dress. How many of them refuse to pay the rest of the deposit? What do they do? I should have asked. But I ain't the reporter of the family.

So Norma asked me why I didn't bring the dress home with me. I could have, the staff asked me if I wanted to. But I know the temptation would be too great to try the dress on again and again. I really am afraid of messing it up. Plus if it gets lost at the store, I'm pretty sure I could get another one on them right?

One last item before I head out. The wedding planning has taken it's toll on me. I'm stressed out. I feel almost Britney-esque. I start babbling in a cockney accent and wander around barefoot. Anyway, last Thursday I went to the gym to let off some steam. As I walked back to my car I double checked my belongings to make sure I had everything. Everything looked fine but I had a nagging feeling I forgot something.
Flash forward five hours later. I went to my room to make my bed and put some stuff away cause it's been taken over by bridal magazines and invitations. "Wait a minute!" I looked at the things on my bed that a couple hours earlier I had with me at the gym. My driver's license, my ATM card and my gym card were missing. I tore through my clothes, my purse, my bed, my hair, the car-nada. So I called the gym and whew! Someone had gallantly turned in my stuff to the front desk. This only happened to me once before in college when I went out partying and wandered back home and decided to have a smoke in the parking lot but first thought it would be okay to dump out my purse in search for a light. I left my I.D. and ATM card in the parking lot. I freaked out the next morning and went outside to retrace my step. Sure enough there they were right next to a couple used matches.