Morning Call

When I was in elementary school I loved volunteering for extracurricular like class plays, recitals, stutdent council (I was co-president in the 6th grade!). And although the best part about participating in all these activities was getting ready for the big ta-da show, I always dreaded having to stand up in front of people. No matter how prepared I was or how small or big the crowd was, I would always be scared. In kindergarden I had the starring role of a class play and instead of showing off potential Academy Award winning skillz I shuffled through the play without looking at the audience while mumbling my lines. My teacher was mortified.

This fear I have has lasted through my adulthood. I graduated high school thinking I would never have to worry again about presentations and public speaking. No one told me that was what college and graduate school was all about! I took a public speaking class hoping it would help me overcome my fear. I just learned really cool vocal exercises and that I make weird faces when I speak.

Anyway throughout this whole planning process I have been relatively cool about the whole thing. Not nervous or overly excited, but more happy in a less overt manner. In fact my only real freakout was when I bought my dress and had a case of buyer's remorse (i.e should I have picked a A-line dress with straps over the strapless ballroom gown I chose?) Yesterday driving to the gym to lose the 4 pounds that mysteriously crept up last week I started to have the shakes. "Holy crap!" I thought, "I have to give a toast in front of a lot of people."

I don't want to talk too long, be too sentimental cause I have been known to cry on occasion, have those "ums and uhs" creep in or pull a Hilary Swank and forget to thank someone, although if I was married to Chad Lowe I would probably forget to give him a shout out too.

The whole day is going to be a blur I'm pretty sure. I just don't want to replay the video and shield my eyes from the horror.

Post Script: I haven't gotten a hair cut yet which is another reason I am totally buggin'. I don't have time. Wah.