A little behind

Okay so according to Martha Stewart and the wedding industry I was supposed to book a florist waaay back in November. Hahahaha. Whatever. Oskar and I went to Santa Barbara on Friday morning to scope some out. We left pretty early to catch a morning meeting with Lani from Lani B. Production Services-the crew that's going to handle our lighting at Cabrillo. It was a fairly easy meeting to sit through. I showed Lani, who in true Santa Barbara fashion was wearing a pair of flip flops, pictures of what my color scheme was going to be. He said he thought a nice amber color would suit our party. Apparently, amber and peach are flattering colors. Anything to look good in pictures right?

Later on we skulked around State Street. We had some tea and lunch and then walked around in search of flower shops. We walked into a Riley's on Chapala. The store was cute but the lady behind the counter didn't want anything to do with us. She told Oskar that the "designer" wasn't it and to come back some other time. Oookay.

After that underwhelming encounter Oskar and I decided to get out of downtown and go somewhere closer to upper state street near San Roque. We quickly found a couple including Gigi's and White House Flower Shop.

We walked into Gigi's where Doug the florist called up their wedding coordinator and set up a meeting for us in the evening. That's customer service.

Then we went to White House flowers. A spry golden retriever welcomed us in and licked our hands (I think we smelled like the chicken we had for lunch). Laura, the owner was just as friendly (minus the licking of course) showing us some of her wedding binders and asking us questions. She was very attentive and understood what I wanted for the ceremony bringing out flowers that she thought would look nice like peonies, roses and stargazer lilies. I told her that I also like anemones and poppies and she said she would find out if they were available that late in August. Laura has also done flowers for events at San Roque before! Most important, the price she quoted us was right where I wanted it to be. Yes! Oskar and I left the flower shop really really happy.

Later on in the evening we headed back to Gigi's. The coordinator pulled out her notebook and asked me how many people were in the bridal party, who needed corsages, what my colors were. She was convinced we needed two big altar pieces, and two smaller ones. And earlier in the day, when Oskar and I first walked in, Oskar asked the staff how much boutonnieres cost, "Eight dollars," said one of employees.
"Twenty-five dollars," said the coordinator later on during the meeting. Hmmm...
She gave us a quote that was almost three times what White House gave us. Oskar asked her if there was a range of prices and if so, was the number she gave us at the higher end
"I don't like ranges, I don't want to give them," she said. "I think that with ranges, you pick something that's low and you won't end up liking the end product and I won't end up liking it."
Oskar and I just nodded and thinking the exact same thing: "What the hell is this chick talking about?"

I think businesses just hear the word wedding and they automatically think "cha-ching." Unbelievable. I am still waiting back to hear some quotes. Hopefully they will send them to me this week cause I really don't want to think about flowers anymore. But if all goes well, I think Oskar and I will have simple and elegant arrangements we can be happy with. Of course Oskar would probably be happy with fake aquarium plants.

Don't Give Up On Me!

I swear to God I'll write more often. It's not like I'm busy or anything right? Well actually, last, last weekend was my "staglette" weekend. That's what this Canuck I met at Cathouse in Vegas called it. So crazy, so memorable. Don't fret dear readers (all three of you) I will reveal the good parts next week. I'll tell you everything else that happened off the record.
So invitations were sent out two Thursdays ago and last week. I had to send them out in batches cause it's only me addressing them baby. I hope you guys liked them. It wouldn't have been possible without good ol' Illustrator. Don't forget to send those RSVP's in. Thank you to those who have!
Last weekend Oskar and I headed to Santa Barbara to talk to the lighting guy and florists. Fun times. My mom decided to wear a zinnia in her corsage. Yeah, see, this is why I haven't posted anything cause nothing new has happened.

Oh! That's not completely true. So, a couple weeks ago I started looking at projects to do for the reception. I found this really cute craft thing that I am not going to give away. But my friend Cladia Guzman saw a sample I made and asked me to show her how to do it, which I did. And then suddenly she took over the project which I am not complaining about because hello! She's a total lifesaver. You'll see her handiwork on your reception table. She is my Martita Stewart. ¡Gracias Claudia!
Lastly before this glass of wine finally puts me to sleep (Kenneth Volk, Negrette) I went to my bridal salon to pay the remaining balance of my dress. And I got to try it on again. I wasn't going to because I was all gross from the LA heat and chasing after two year olds, but Roza, the owner, wouldn't hear of it. "Don't you want to see it?" she asked.
"Okay," I mumbled, embarrassed at my un-bridal behavior.
"More pouffy?" asked one of the staff when I put on the petticoat.
"No thank you." I said putting on a sweater feeling a little too cold with just my underwear on. I felt like I was at the doctor's office.
A little while later another girl came with a plastic bag, the contents of which looked like a folded up comforter. "What is that?" I asked.
She took it out without answering and I realized it was my dress.
Giving me a once over as I took off my sweater she asked,
"more pouffy?"
"No, it's okay."
Seriously no more crinoline people!
I swear putting on that dress is a two man operation. She held on to the bodice over her head and said "Come on honey."
I dove in with my arms extended over my head and dug through fabric until I saw the other opening.
"Okay get on the platform," she commanded.
I stood on the wooden mini-stage and took a deep breath in. Unlike the first time I came to the salon and tried on the dress, this time I was all alone. I didn't want anyone else to give their opinion. I wanted to make sure that I had made the right choice.
The girl who helped me put on the dress, was the same one who had helped me try on those five or six the very first time I went there. "Oh my god it fits perfect," she said.
And it did. Okay so there's like four inches of extra bust, but everything else fit like a glove.
"I'll leave you alone so you can enjoy."
And there I was all by myself. I think I even talked to myself at one point. When I turned around to look at my reflection from a different angle, I noticed the door was open. "Whoops!" I thought.
I gotta tell you, I love it. So sparkly when it catches the light. It's the most extravagant outfit I've ever worn. The train is even longer than I remember it. Bridesmaids take note! One of you will have to come with me for my last fitting when they show me how to bustle up the train. That way you will know how to do it for the reception. Bring a notebook or a video camera if you need to.
Anywho, the chick came back in and asked me if everything was okay and if I was going to take it. "For sure," I said.
I wondered how many brides came to the salon and found something wrong with their dress. How many of them refuse to pay the rest of the deposit? What do they do? I should have asked. But I ain't the reporter of the family.

So Norma asked me why I didn't bring the dress home with me. I could have, the staff asked me if I wanted to. But I know the temptation would be too great to try the dress on again and again. I really am afraid of messing it up. Plus if it gets lost at the store, I'm pretty sure I could get another one on them right?

One last item before I head out. The wedding planning has taken it's toll on me. I'm stressed out. I feel almost Britney-esque. I start babbling in a cockney accent and wander around barefoot. Anyway, last Thursday I went to the gym to let off some steam. As I walked back to my car I double checked my belongings to make sure I had everything. Everything looked fine but I had a nagging feeling I forgot something.
Flash forward five hours later. I went to my room to make my bed and put some stuff away cause it's been taken over by bridal magazines and invitations. "Wait a minute!" I looked at the things on my bed that a couple hours earlier I had with me at the gym. My driver's license, my ATM card and my gym card were missing. I tore through my clothes, my purse, my bed, my hair, the car-nada. So I called the gym and whew! Someone had gallantly turned in my stuff to the front desk. This only happened to me once before in college when I went out partying and wandered back home and decided to have a smoke in the parking lot but first thought it would be okay to dump out my purse in search for a light. I left my I.D. and ATM card in the parking lot. I freaked out the next morning and went outside to retrace my step. Sure enough there they were right next to a couple used matches.

76 days to go...

Oh my God!!! No puede ser...

So much stuff to do...Okay.

Still need to:

1. Order the cake (Molly gave me some excellent ideas which I didn't write down! Will definitely ask her again!) 

2. Go to SB to see the florist about bouquets and altar decorations! Not to worry ladies! Worse case scenario, I'll head to the nearest supermarket and buy us some bouquets to-go. 

3. Get fitted. Hmmm. Have been avoiding this cause as you know I'm trying to deflate. Am down 10 pounds! Still have some work to do though. 

4. Send out the invitations! Oskar is sending them to me ASAP! He better be. So they are going out next week fo sho. 

5. Oh my gosh! Need to go to SB to talk to hair stylists! I got some quotes for makeup and hair stylists who make house calls. Yeah. Still haven't been able to find that tree that grows money so my makeup artist is going to be my two Kevin Aucoin coffee table books and my skilled, steady hand. 

6. Okay, buy wedding rings.

7. Make the favors! 

8. oh my god! booze! 

Progress: Instead of forking over an obscene amount of money for something I will only use for and two hours tops, I headed to the local fabric store and bought some tulle! Yup, Norma, my Godmother, is going to "help" me make a veil. So far my veil looks like this:

But hopefully with a little effort, it'll look like this! 

Lastly, I am trying to come up with a decent playlist for the DJ, although I'm sure he is already aware of the "in" songs out there. But I don't really listen to the radio so I don't really know what's hip nowadays. Feel free to email songs that you think will be fun to play and dance to.

I see your ABBA

... and it reminds me of this scene from NBC's The Office. Enjoy.

Pushing past the last plateau

I've always struggled with my weight. I probably always will.

It's weird, because on one hand, I don't particularly want to focus on it. I've never wanted to make a big deal out of my weight, because I don't think that it's a defining characteristic in people.

The problem with that is that for me -- a person who has a pretty big appetite and a bit of a lazy attitude when it comes to exercising (that's a little harsh but it's not far from being 100 percent true) -- applying that "no big deal" attitude let me balloon up from chubs to seriously overweight. I can't even look. But you can.

This photo's a little forgiving, but it was taken in late July 2004, right after I graduated college and a few months before I hit a peak weight of 237 pounds.

(If you've heard me complain about this before, skip to after the ellipsis below. That's where the real meat of this post is anyway. This middle part is just background.)

I was always hovering around 220 pounds during college. I ate like shit, exercised only by biking to class, playing intramural sports and walking around town, and I rarely turned down a chance at drinking a beer.

Honestly, I don't think that all these things made me a bad person: I was just having fun and carefree in college, I didn't have the outwardly destructive tendencies that some others had when they were thrust into all that freedom. I was pretty much a happy-go-lucky dude who was simply fat.

Things got worse in grad school, because the work intensified and I completely ignored my body. When it finally hit me that I had to reign in my horrendous eating habits and lose a lot weight, it really sucked to confront the fact that I had let myself go.

But it worked.

I gave up soda, mayonnaise and a lot of the goodies that I'd afforded myself liberally through the years. I worked out (fiendishly for me, an acceptable amount for others). The weight started coming off.

But as anyone who's tried to lose weight will tell you, plateaus are the WORST. That's when you work just as hard as you've always worked but the weight seems to no longer come off. For me, those magical plateau numbers were at 220, 200, 190 and 170. I blasted through 220 with slightly more work, through 200 with a fluke virus that caused me to drop 10 pounds in 2 days and 190 by simply picking it up.

...

I haven't gotten past 170, and I've never been more frustrated with this weight loss thing than I have been this year. Before, people were really supportive of my weight loss goals. Now, most think I'm fine.

I appreciate the compliments, but I want to be in good shape, not in good enough shape. That's why this past week I did something some might consider extreme: I joined a boot camp.

Boot Camp Las Vegas is certainly the strangest exercise program I've ever been a part of.

I joined on Tuesday, running day, which involved running three miles around a track, windsprints and stairs, all with just brief moments of stopping. Wednesday was legs day, which I thought was weird after running day. It involved me doing a buttload of lunges, squats and insane exercises for my legs that were already a little sore from the day before. Yesterday, arms and upper body.

Today, I climbed a mini-mountain. I'll get exact figures on Monday, but it was higher than the peak that holds the air towers for Las Vegas' TV stations. It was all loose rocks and desert terrain. I'm scared of heights, but I couldn't think about it at all and at one point it became less about getting a workout than about getting up and down the damn thing without getting myself killed or falling on my ass too much.

When I got up to the peak, I realized that this is what working out and fitness is really about: pushing yourself to do things that you normally wouldn't even think of and also to work harder than you've ever worked before.

The girl who started Boot Camp LV is pretty inspiring. At about 5-foot-3 and about 120 pounds, she doesn't seem to have any fat on her body whatsoever. That wasn't the case two years ago, when she was 180 pounds.

Julie brings out the best in her class, not by being nice to them, but by being a living example of what she believes and therefore brings to others. When I talk to her, I believe she's able to help me and push me to do something that I've struggled with for years.

Today, when I got down the mountain (I was one of just a handful that went all the way to the top because it was an extra long session, about 1:20 total), I was talking to Julie and I let it slip that I didn't have to work today since I have Fridays and Saturdays off. She said, "Nice, you should come back out at 9:30 or 6!"

The rule is you can double, triple or quad up each day on classes without paying extra.

This morning I didn't think I could climb a mountain at all. In about an hour, I'm going to find out if I can do it twice.

Watch an oversimplified version of what I'm doing here: Fox 5 news story

Wish me luck. Sure, this is about the wedding, but Maryté and I are going to do this after we get married too. Because fitness isn't a pursuit for one day, it's about changing your lifestyle.

Una pausa y volvemos...

I just needed a little mental break from wedding planning. Plus, ABBA is awesome. This song has been in my head all week. 

My toes hurt already.

I'm not a shoe whore- I don't go nuts about shoes like Carrie Bradshaw. I'm more of a purse girl myself (sigh, Hermès). But my grandma used to say that a pair of shoes "de buena calidad" can make any outfit look like a million bucks. 

For day to day I prefer flip flops, which is a habit I couldn't shake after leaving UCSB. I am pretty clueless when it comes to buying nice shoes though and it makes the shopping experience less than enjoyable. Now I don't really feel cool admitting this, but in the hopes of getting some input, here goes: After about an hour of wearing one of these puppies, my feet get all swollen. That's why I HATE strappy shoes. Sure they are sexy, but not when my wide ol' feet are squeezing out between the straps. So, when buying shoes for the wedding, when I'm going to be on my feet most of the evening, saying hi to guests, dancing, posing, etc., is it wise to buy half a size bigger? Should I get another emergency pair? Can I get away with wearing a shoe that doesn't match my ivory gown like say a pair that's green or pink? Ahhh! 

First Row: Chinese Laundry, Chinese Laundry, David's Bridal, Nine West

Second Row: Chinese Laundry, Marc Fisher, Nine West, Guess

Third Row: BP., Nina, Vaneli, Matisse (my fave so far)

Last Row: Nine West, Marc Fisher, Christian Louboutin, Manolo Blahnik

The Wedding: A Scientific Perspective

Nice job to the folks at A Practical Wedding. 

Then vs. Now

In "Something Old Something New," Betsy Towner compares the average wedding of 1958 to those held in 2008 and looks at the way weddings have changed in the last 50 years.
Some intriguing facts:

The Bride:

The most common name then: Mary

The most common name now: Jennifer 

The stereotype then: Blushing Bride

The stereotype now: Bridezilla

The gown then: Princess lace handmade by Belgian nuns $135

The gown now: Strapless and sexy $1317

The average age then: 20

The average age now: 26

The Groom:

The most common name then: Robert

The most common name now: Michael

The tuxedo rental then: $5.50

The tuxedo rental now: $69.95

The average age then: 22

The average now: 28

The Reception:

The first dance then: "All I Have to Do is Dream" by the Everly Brothers

The first dance now: "No One" Alicia Keys (Really?)

Party song then: "At the Hop" by Danny and the Juniors

Party song now: "4 minutes" Madonna w/Justin Timberlake

The trendy gift then: CorningWare casserole $12.95

The trendy gift now: Nintendo Wii $399

The Expense:

Postage for invitations then: 3-4 cents

Postage for invitations now: 42 cents

Piece of cake per Guest then: 35 cents

Piece of cake per Guest now: $4.52

Marriage License then: $1

Marriage License now (Santa Barbara): $75

The Escape

The honeymoon then: Niagara Falls

The honeymoon now: Hawaii

The getaway car then: Chevy Impala convertible $2,700

The getaway car now: Toyota Camry $18,570

The honeymoon cost then: $237

The honeymoon cost now: $3,680

Gallon of gas then: 30 cents

Gallon of gas now: $3.80

The Future:

Divorce rate then: 33%

Divorce rate now: 50%

Number of kids then: 3.6

Number of children now: 2.1

Zero minutes of fame.

Oh well. I was so close to starring in my own wedding reality show but the dream is still a dream. Normally I wouldn't want to be on TV. I even hate taking pictures. However, I came across a casting call that would have solved all of my wedding planning woes. Not that I have that many. It hasn't been a hair-pulling experience yet. The announcement, in bold, read: "LET CELEBRITY WEDDING PLANNER DAVID TUTERA ENHANCE YOUR WEDDING ON WE TV!"
David Tutera is this Colin Cowie type event planner who recently partnered up with Disney to create the Disney Fairy Tale Wedding package. I certainly wouldn't mind having a wedding planner (any wedding planner) much less this quasi-celebrity planner create a beautiful reception that only the super rich or famous can afford. Of course, without Mickey and Minnie making a cameo appearance.
Well like I said, Oskar and I seemed to meet the requirements for the reality show. The producers wanted couples that were getting married this summer. Check. They want couples who have spent months planning the wedding. Check. And they want want couples who feel that something "STILL isn't quite right." Of course, check!
"Contact our producers today," I read. "Okay, I will," I thought.
Then I read: "Weddings should take place within an hour of New York City in July or August, 2008!"
Damn it! I only got a C in physics so I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to position a wormhole between Manhattan and Santa Barbara cause that's the only way I'd be able to have Tutera throw me a bone.
Well, there is always the "Newlywed Game" right?

Just so y'all know

I called this blog "Boda de mis sueños" because of this show that my family was obsessed with last year called "Bailando por la boda de mis sueños." Imagine "Dancing with the Stars" except for the fact that a Latino celebrity is paired with either a bride or groom. The winner of the competition obviously wins the wedding of their dreams. My mom told me I should compete. Yeah.
Anyway I would dance for a prize if I had any rhythm. Sadly, I have one or two stock moves that includes a lot of hair swishing but that's about it. Hmmm....that reminds me-Oskar and I need to practice for the first dance. Eeek! Have any of you seen Oskar dance? It's all shoulders.

Here's a little clip of my blog's namesake, in all it's fringed glory. I tried to do the quebradita once. Just once.

June Gloom

I have been trying my damnedest not be the dreaded "bridezilla" but it happened. And actually, now that I give it some
thought, I think I have been one for a quite some time, on the DL of course. Furthermore, these moments of anger and
frustration, the times that I have regressed to the three year old throwing a tantrum at the Toys-R-Us have been aimed
primarily at this guy I know with dark hair and an auburn beard.

I do feel pangs of guilt as I sit and watch my "Platinum
Wedding" and "Bridezilla" marathon and realize how quickly a ritual that is supposed to be an occasion celebrating the couple's
promise to step into an unknown and perilous future together can turn into an over-the-top, gratuitous display of autolatry.
can understand why this occurs as well.

 For many of us, the opportunities we have to express ourselves creatively
are rare or hard to do. Even more unusual are the times when we receive the type of adoration and awe that is freely showered
upon celebrities, sometimes for simply buying a latte at the local Starbucks. As a result, the smaller aspects of the wedding
like the seating arrangements or the type of centerpieces, can become points of contention. Everything must be perfect,
because the wedding is like the Oscar's we will probably never attend. 

I don't want to lose sight of what is
important. With only 16 weeks to go (yikes!) it's so tempting to exceed the budget and go glitz crazy. But, then again, no one is
really going to remember what the hell the table looked like or what kind of flowers I carried down the aisle. What people are
going to talk about later is how long they think the marriage is going to last or whether or not we make a good
couple. 

I don't think I have been acting as horribly as some of the women depicted on the shows though.  I
wouldn't "fire" my bridesmaids for not going to the bachelorette party or bridal shower. I wouldn't ban my mother-in-law from
the festivities simply because she didn't like me. I WOULD snub someone I held a grudge against even if Oskar got along with
them fine-that's pretty bridezilla-ish. Bad Maryté! Bad!

Okay, you know how in the third or fourth post I said
needed to lose twenty pounds? Yeah add a couple more pounds to that. Now I'm freaking out.